Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So much rum. So many feels.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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