It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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