dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
false alarm, still single
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