Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
