I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
