Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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