Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
