he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so much tequila, so little girl.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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