Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
