woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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