Just mADE A PArabola og urine
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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