just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
