A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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