i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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