Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
