i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
