That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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