i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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