I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize