It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
