I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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