i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize