Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
