I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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