I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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