i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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