I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
