Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize