don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
