Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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