this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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