erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
