Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
