erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
