I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
