He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
