did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
