She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
