his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
