I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
