There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
