Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
