So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
