I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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