it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
