He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
