he puts the penis in happiness.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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