I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
