SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
