Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
