Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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