Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
