the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
