just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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