But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize