this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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