I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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