So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
