Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize