I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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