there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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