in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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