Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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