i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
